Ghost Recon: Future Soldier – Someone In Marketing Thinks You’re Stupid

Regular readers of the words that fall out of my head and onto the Internet will know that once in a while I let daylight in upon stagnant magic. Sometimes the mask slips and visitors to Reaper Towers get to see the liberal-pinko-bleeding heart-lefty that I am. So, if you are offended by, oh I don’t know common sense or if a pretty lady is enough to get you to part with your gaming bucks, look away now.

With Ghost Recon: Future Soldier out next week the PR machine is shifting into high gear. No surprise there. We can expect some new videos and trailers over the next few days no doubt, but here is one that landed last Friday you may not have seen. Have a look:

We see tons of video and press releases a day, but this one has gotten my goat more than any other I can remember having the misfortune to desecrate my eyes with in a while. Bit of an over reaction? No, it isn’t. Think about it for a minute. Whoever came up with this ‘genius’ video (and knowing plenty of media marketing types I’d put money on it that it took a room full of dullards to come up with it) has taken an equation that after the equals sign has your name and the word “idiot”.

“Hey, guys like games right? What else to guys like?”

“…Guns..? Boobs..? Arse..?”

“Brilliant!”

Well I say screw you, you bunch of greasy crumbs! You can go for the tied old shtick of how demeaning it is to women to have a an attractive lady type firing off massive weapons just for the gratification of those with their brains in their cocks, but at the rotten core of this bit of marketing is that we are to believe that only men are suppose to be attracted to this new shooter. It buys into the 14 year old high school kid mentality that the only women who play games are the ones who turn up on fake Facebook pictures, i.e. some sun-kissed airheads holding an Xbox controller. Well guess what, most women who game are generally more than just a pair of boobies. They are intelligent, caring, thoughtful individuals, which is more than can be said for about two thirds of male gamers.

I would also like to point out that I have no issue with Cocco here. She is a beautiful enough humanoid who has been employed to do a job of work and although her “talking head” spots are as wooden as a hobby horse she does deliver on what she has been asked to do.

You’d have to be the retarded spawn of a mule and dodo to buy this title off the back of this pile of horseshit, but what really rattles my cage is how gamers continue to be treated like horny mental patience. No dear PR people, we have more class than that, even if you don’t.

Ghost Recon: Future Soldier out on PS3 and Xbox 360 next week.

CVG and Reaper Gaming – A Feature of Taste!

Here at Reaper Towers we are not only game reporters, we are also fans of other sites. So when were were contacted by one of our favourite industry defining sites in order to feature Reaper Gaming we were greatly humbled and totally flattered. One of the planets longest running and most popular game publications Computer and Video Games or CVG do a feature every week on one of their favourite gaming sites, this time it is us! Ain’t that a kicker!?

I remember as a kid back in the 80′s getting my copy of C&VG magazine every month, usually with a free zx spectrum or Commodore 64 tape of a game (yes I said Tape!) and being so excited so that I would wait through nearly half an hour of loading times just so my computer could crash and I would have to start again, just to play a pixelated, three coloured game – but I loved it, as I imagine many of you out there did also! Then there were the re-printed pages of code that would take all day to type into my rubber buttoned keyboard, which of course never worked, probably due to an extra question mark or full stop that my pudgy digits added by accident – Good times and a real right of passage for any budding game head of the past. You kids these days don’t know how easy ya have it… (You will say that one day too ya know!)

Here we are decades later running our own little gaming kingdom so it is a real honour to be acknowledged by one of our heroes of the gaming press, so thank you ‘Mr. T’ over at  CVG. Personally I am very proud of the little team of eccentric misfits that we have rattling around the tower here and it is to them that any credit of recognition truly goes to (since they stole my whip I have to be nice to them anyway). The Reaper Crew and I hope all of you out there have the same impeccable taste as our buddies over at CVG have and we hope to keep a smile on your face long into the future. Long live CVG and long live Reaper Gaming! – The interview can be read here if you feel the need. As Arnie might say: Dooo eeet!! Doooo eeet now!!!

GAMERILLAZ – New Site that Stole My Crew…

Published by in News on February 7th, 2012

It’s mutiny I tells ya!! A bunch of ballbag Gorillas walked into Reaper Towers and started flashing the cash at my staff. They wanted my gang for a new gaming website – the cheek! I just knew my loyal crew would not desert me – boy was I wrong! They all ran out the door with their pockets stuffed full of dosh, even knocked me down and left foot prints on my back – Feckers. So now its just me sitting here in this cold castle, shivering, lonely and with no one to give me a foot rub. Needless to say I’m going to have to make a few changes to the site, so keep an eye out for that.

And what of these smelly Gorillas you ask? Well apparently they are from a new website called GAMERILLAZ. Whoop-de-do. I had a look at this ‘site’… its pretty good unfortunately and they seem to know their shit – stupid apes. I think they might have stolen a few of my ideas along with my team. I hope they are all very happy there together – NOT! They’ll be back, when they get sick of the big bucks, glamor and properly run setup – Oh they will be back! Damned dirty apes!!

In the meantime I might pop over to GAMERILLAZ to see if they need another hand to help out – Whaaa? I need the money! Check it out – but do come back after  – GAMERILLAZ.com

Ahhh. Nintendo scares the shit out of kids!!

Published by in News on January 19th, 2012

Crazy Japs! Crazy Nintendo! Crazy 3DS. What am I babbling on about – well have a look at the vid below if you really want to know. Its a 3DS commercial for some spooky 3DS game… Spirit Camera: The Cursed Memoir. The lil film is quite good and also quit long. Bit like ‘The Ring’ except its a 3DS that is the conduit of death not a video tape. Cant say it would entice me to get a 3DS or the Game, as I don’t want to die! Its well worth a watch to see others die as a result of playing the 3DS though. Kind of a funny advertising campaign eh. Boo!

Darksiders 2 – Death Lives Trailer – aka MEEEE!!!

Published by in News on January 19th, 2012


They made another game with me in it! Little old me. Well, it was a fun shoot I must say and the royalties I’m due to get, wow – ya wouldn’t believe it! The chicks off set… hummina hummina!! When they ask if you like your candy licked their not talking about food! Was a much better experience than that Grim Fandango thing I did years ago and I cant say I’m impressed with how they edited me in Dante’s Inferno. This time its all about me. Me, Me, Me! Next stop is probably Hollywood, grab a few awards, rub shoulders with some famous actors and maybe hang out with a few pornstars, oh how the cocktail’s will flow… and you all get to play with me when Darksiders II is released – Lucky You. Wait, hang on… that didn’t come out right… when I say ‘play with me’ I didn’t mean… um.

How about a nice warm glass of SOPA – NO!!!


Pirates ahoy! It looks like the granny brigade are out again, this time its all a bit odd though. The ‘Motion Picture Association of America’ (MPAA) have a hard on for illegal material and want to stamp it out at any cost… the latest in a long line of ‘down with this sort of thing’ attempts by them on game and movie related content. You see the ‘Stop Online Piracy Act’ or SOPA as it has become known is an attempt to stop online piracy. OK, we can debate the merits of Piracy another day but the important thing to note here is that this ‘Act’ also kills any freedom the Internet has, at least from an American standpoint – which is massively significant for the rest of the world. Its kind of like using a nuke to kill an ant hill, as the fallout of the attack will destroy the very things that you are trying to protect. When you see big hitters like Microsoft, Sony and EA to name but a few oppose this Act, then you know that its toxic as they would love nothing more than to stamp out piracy. The price is too high and it is their consensus that this Act would stifle freedom and ergo creativity for the industry at large, even Obama thinks this is a bad idea. Wikipedia, Reddit and Gamerillaz along with a bucket-load of other sites are shutting up shop for a 24 hour period as of 8am on the 18th of January (Tomorrow) as a protest – Reaper Gaming will be joining them. I think we should all do the same and protect the freedom of speech/online ability. Say it loud and say it proud – Fuck the MPAA!! It is unlikely that this Act will carry but we all still need to stand up and fight the power so we can bury this kind of oppressive mentality six feet under – Do it! If you want to know more about the in’s and out’s  – check here.

Thief 4 – It’s coming…

Published by in News on December 19th, 2011

Thief 4 is coming in the next year or so. Not a lot to go on really, only that it exists! I was a big fan of the previous Thief games on the PC. The combo of stealth and sword fighting were the foundations for some of the great fantasy games today, such as Skyrim. The haunting scenery along with a mix of ghoulish and mechanical enemies made this a very unique game franchise which was arguably an influence for Bioshock. Story and plot were key with atmosphere just oozing from your computer screen. It was special! There is a whole generation who haven’t experienced the Thief magic, when I say to all you gaming pups that you are in for a treat, I’m not just blowing smoke up your butt-hole. If Thief 4 is half the game its predecessors were then prepare to be immersed in a true classic.

You can try and get sketchy bits of info by trolling through the forms of the official site here. Apart from that you will just have to keep an eye out for any updates we can bring you – a mechanical eye that is (in-joke for Thief nerds).

VGA 2011 Trailers

Published by in News on December 11th, 2011

 

Now that the winners list is out of the way what about the really good stuff. The VGA’s are a good opportunity for developers to tease us with some new trailers of what we can expect to see. This year was no different and there are a few gems here.

Metal Gear Solid Rising “Revengeance” Trailer

Moving away from the cigarette smoking OAP Solid Snake, Konami have turned to cyborg ninja Raiden to lead the way in this new installment of the metal gear series. Platinum Games will develop the title so you know its going to be as mental as a box of frogs on a hot plate.

http://youtu.be/HR14-1mMt2c

 

Epic Games “Fortnight” Trailer

Before the event chief designer at epic a Mr cliffyb said they had a new trailer for us to watch, and Fortnight is it.  Judging by the trailer it appears that this is going to be some sort of scavenging / survival game. In theory it sounds good, but lots of things sound good in theory.

http://youtu.be/DWh9APymq-c

 

Command and Conquer Generals 2

World leaders are mere seconds away from signing a peace treaty and bringing an end to a global war when a devastating terrorist attack rips through the conference, killing everyone in attendance, leaving only the world’s military superpowers in control. It’s up to you to assume their roles, take command of their forces and conquer global terrorism once and for all.

So that’s the back drop for Command and Conquer Generals 2, and with Bioware developing this title using the Frostbite 2 engine, it could really be something special.

 

Mass Effect 3

Its Mass Effect 3 need we say anymore ?

 

Rainbow Six: Patriots

Showing a bunch of heavily armed men break into a bank officials office strap explosives onto him and throw him out a window. I don’t know if I want to hunt these guys down or give them a medal.

 

Diablo 3

“The powers of hell could already be on the move”

Well they are and Blizzard are going to be bringing them marching into your homes when the third chapter in the epic Diablo series arrives.

 

The Last of Us

WOW!! The highlight of the night, this looks amazing. Developed by Naughty Dog and exclusively to PlayStation 3. The Last of Us, shows a farther daughter ? Team trying to survive in a world over run by (not zombies) but some weird ailen looking things.

 

Darksiders II

Death Lives..

 

Alan Wake Americian Nightmare

Everyone’sfavourite author / horror star is back. Armed with his trusty flashlight, Alan Wake is set to do battle with an evil caricature of himself called Mr Scratch.

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