Regular readers of the words that fall out of my head and onto the Internet will know that once in a while I let daylight in upon stagnant magic. Sometimes the mask slips and visitors to Reaper Towers get to see the liberal-pinko-bleeding heart-lefty that I am. So, if you are offended by, oh I don’t know common sense or if a pretty lady is enough to get you to part with your gaming bucks, look away now.

With Ghost Recon: Future Soldier out next week the PR machine is shifting into high gear. No surprise there. We can expect some new videos and trailers over the next few days no doubt, but here is one that landed last Friday you may not have seen. Have a look:

We see tons of video and press releases a day, but this one has gotten my goat more than any other I can remember having the misfortune to desecrate my eyes with in a while. Bit of an over reaction? No, it isn’t. Think about it for a minute. Whoever came up with this ‘genius’ video (and knowing plenty of media marketing types I’d put money on it that it took a room full of dullards to come up with it) has taken an equation that after the equals sign has your name and the word “idiot”.

“Hey, guys like games right? What else to guys like?”

“…Guns..? Boobs..? Arse..?”

“Brilliant!”

Well I say screw you, you bunch of greasy crumbs! You can go for the tied old shtick of how demeaning it is to women to have a an attractive lady type firing off massive weapons just for the gratification of those with their brains in their cocks, but at the rotten core of this bit of marketing is that we are to believe that only men are suppose to be attracted to this new shooter. It buys into the 14 year old high school kid mentality that the only women who play games are the ones who turn up on fake Facebook pictures, i.e. some sun-kissed airheads holding an Xbox controller. Well guess what, most women who game are generally more than just a pair of boobies. They are intelligent, caring, thoughtful individuals, which is more than can be said for about two thirds of male gamers.

I would also like to point out that I have no issue with Cocco here. She is a beautiful enough humanoid who has been employed to do a job of work and although her “talking head” spots are as wooden as a hobby horse she does deliver on what she has been asked to do.

You’d have to be the retarded spawn of a mule and dodo to buy this title off the back of this pile of horseshit, but what really rattles my cage is how gamers continue to be treated like horny mental patience. No dear PR people, we have more class than that, even if you don’t.

Ghost Recon: Future Soldier out on PS3 and Xbox 360 next week.

Here at Reaper Towers we are not only game reporters, we are also fans of other sites. So when were were contacted by one of our favourite industry defining sites in order to feature Reaper Gaming we were greatly humbled and totally flattered. One of the planets longest running and most popular game publications Computer and Video Games or CVG do a feature every week on one of their favourite gaming sites, this time it is us! Ain’t that a kicker!?

I remember as a kid back in the 80′s getting my copy of C&VG magazine every month, usually with a free zx spectrum or Commodore 64 tape of a game (yes I said Tape!) and being so excited so that I would wait through nearly half an hour of loading times just so my computer could crash and I would have to start again, just to play a pixelated, three coloured game – but I loved it, as I imagine many of you out there did also! Then there were the re-printed pages of code that would take all day to type into my rubber buttoned keyboard, which of course never worked, probably due to an extra question mark or full stop that my pudgy digits added by accident – Good times and a real right of passage for any budding game head of the past. You kids these days don’t know how easy ya have it… (You will say that one day too ya know!)

Here we are decades later running our own little gaming kingdom so it is a real honour to be acknowledged by one of our heroes of the gaming press, so thank you ‘Mr. T’ over at  CVG. Personally I am very proud of the little team of eccentric misfits that we have rattling around the tower here and it is to them that any credit of recognition truly goes to (since they stole my whip I have to be nice to them anyway). The Reaper Crew and I hope all of you out there have the same impeccable taste as our buddies over at CVG have and we hope to keep a smile on your face long into the future. Long live CVG and long live Reaper Gaming! – The interview can be read here if you feel the need. As Arnie might say: Dooo eeet!! Doooo eeet now!!!

It’s mutiny I tells ya!! A bunch of ballbag Gorillas walked into Reaper Towers and started flashing the cash at my staff. They wanted my gang for a new gaming website – the cheek! I just knew my loyal crew would not desert me – boy was I wrong! They all ran out the door with their pockets stuffed full of dosh, even knocked me down and left foot prints on my back – Feckers. So now its just me sitting here in this cold castle, shivering, lonely and with no one to give me a foot rub. Needless to say I’m going to have to make a few changes to the site, so keep an eye out for that.

And what of these smelly Gorillas you ask? Well apparently they are from a new website called GAMERILLAZ. Whoop-de-do. I had a look at this ‘site’… its pretty good unfortunately and they seem to know their shit – stupid apes. I think they might have stolen a few of my ideas along with my team. I hope they are all very happy there together – NOT! They’ll be back, when they get sick of the big bucks, glamor and properly run setup – Oh they will be back! Damned dirty apes!!

In the meantime I might pop over to GAMERILLAZ to see if they need another hand to help out – Whaaa? I need the money! Check it out – but do come back after  – GAMERILLAZ.com

Crazy Japs! Crazy Nintendo! Crazy 3DS. What am I babbling on about – well have a look at the vid below if you really want to know. Its a 3DS commercial for some spooky 3DS game… Spirit Camera: The Cursed Memoir. The lil film is quite good and also quit long. Bit like ‘The Ring’ except its a 3DS that is the conduit of death not a video tape. Cant say it would entice me to get a 3DS or the Game, as I don’t want to die! Its well worth a watch to see others die as a result of playing the 3DS though. Kind of a funny advertising campaign eh. Boo!

They made another game with me in it! Little old me. Well, it was a fun shoot I must say and the royalties I’m due to get, wow – ya wouldn’t believe it! The chicks off set… hummina hummina!! When they ask if you like your candy licked their not talking about food! Was a much better experience than that Grim Fandango thing I did years ago and I cant say I’m impressed with how they edited me in Dante’s Inferno. This time its all about me. Me, Me, Me! Next stop is probably Hollywood, grab a few awards, rub shoulders with some famous actors and maybe hang out with a few pornstars, oh how the cocktail’s will flow… and you all get to play with me when Darksiders II is released – Lucky You. Wait, hang on… that didn’t come out right… when I say ‘play with me’ I didn’t mean… um.